Baker / Porter
I sift through the boxes of free books and find myself disappointed
By how many poetry collections I lift and place aside.
I’m looking for a book–
A real book,
A prose book–
Anything other than poetry or German grammar.
Instead, I find stacks and stacks of poetry,
Slim and sleek,
Misleadingly thick,
Well-loved, with the dust jacket torn down the front.
A signed copy of an award-winning–
But aren’t they all award-winning?–
Collection, compiled and autographed with love.
(I leave this one in its place.)
I hate poetry,
And yet, I am a poet.
Because poetry is easy,
Poetry is personal,
Poetry is something not quite unconventional enough.
(E.E. Cummings will always be more esoteric;
Frost will always be more beautiful.)
Poetry is a window to somewhere else,
Sometimes missing a few panes
And sometimes with a paper cutout taped on to scare away the birds
Before they fly too close and perish.
I’ve attached a printout to our dorm kitchen window,
But I’ve never seen a bird in the alley that it faces.
I spent two years in high school taking notes on birds
To compete in the Ornithology event,
But I can’t name a single bird by sight
(Unless it’s a male Mallard,
A duck with a distinctive green head).
This reads like a confessional–
It is not.
But, then again, I am always saying things I don’t mean,
Like “guess I’ll die”
And “I hate poetry.”
As a writer (a poet, an author),
I am obsessed with the nuances of synonyms.
So maybe I don’t hate poetry–
Nor do I hate poets,
Despite how many times I scorn their work in my search for more reading material.
(I read enough, too much–
I’ve gone through all of xkcd
And the Wikipedia pages for every horror movie I can name.
I am not brave enough for horror.)
But I might resent poets, just a little.
I might envy them for choosing a “fun” job,
An “interesting” job that keeps them true to themselves.
(I have spent enough time agonizing over these lines
To know that this too is an untruth.)
I find nothing of interest on the free book table,
So I pick up my bag and leave.
Later, I venture into the Civil and Environmental Engineering wing
And obtain a free book about the telegraph.