Q&A: Milky Tran on her short film “Oink” and more

For Milky Tran, she has always been a viewer, not a doer. And her camera moves through the stories of the protagonists we follow, watching them quietly as they struggle and discover new things through quiet moments in their lives. 

Tran is our keynote speaker for CMU’s international film festival. She is a Vietnamese-American filmmaker based in LA. She is a Pittsburgh native, as well as a Point Park alum with a BFA in Cinema production. 

She is currently working at Jubilee media as a creative director, directing the new series “Ask me anything,” giving a platform for people to choose to answer questions rather than field them randomly. 

But she’s creating personal short films as well - now looking for what themes matter to her as an adult, rather than a college student. “Oink” is one of those films, and the one being played tonight at CMU’s International Film Festival. 

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I wanted to ask you a couple questions about your film, "Oink." For Oink, you say that "it's not entirely biographical, but it's pulled from a meaningful place." How did you draw on your own experiences to shape the film?

Sure, yeah. I've made twelve short films [in film school]. And I was kind of running out of ideas, in a way. And this was the first time making a short film as an adult. I'm an entirely new person, I'm no longer a college student, I'm like, what is my perspective on the world? And I was really struggling to figure out what I wanted to say and what I wanted to share, so I had to look within myself. 

Through what I was sharing in therapy at the time I stumbled across the idea that I wanted to explore themes of what immigrant parents' relationships are with their children. I think I also saw a Tik Tok on this trend of being proud of your nose - it wasn't necessarily Asian noses, it was more like, Eastern European noses, and being proud of that because of the generations that came before you. 

And so, in collaboration with my idea of immigrant parents' relationships with this idea of a nose, a beauty standard, I created "Oink" as a way to express this previously unexpressed feeling of learning unhealthy habits that my mom had passed onto me unconsciously. Because I feel within immigrant parents and childrens' relationships, there is a barrier for emotional connection. And that could be through language, between our culture and values, and even just interest. But we crave this emotional connection. 

And one language, one value, one interest, that was universal for me and my mom, was beauty. So I connected with my mom through beauty standards by dieting, by make up, by skincare, all of these things. And I realized that that had become such a huge aspect of my life and affected me a lot internally as a child. So this is kind of a story of wanting to be just like your mom, but if your mom picks apart her body and face, the child born with the same body and face will do the exact same thing.

In your earlier film "We are Sisters" her older sister is the one who does the makeup for her, but also the person who's the toxic influence in her life. But she's the only guidance she has. There's a lot of really complicated realities on what it means to be a woman [in your films].

I just love to write about womanhood and I was kind of nervous to share [this short film] with a male audience just because I felt like they would not understand it, that they would not get it. Womanhood is such a complex journey and this is just a small sliver of what women face in being a young person. 

How do you choose to frame the women in your films? There's the theme of the romanticization of other women we see in our life; like in "Oink," with the mom, or "Emily has a Body," in the first couple opening shots we see this really romantic image [of the other girl].

One, I have always been a romantic in my life. I look up to so many people in my life. And honestly, when I was younger, I was not really a participant. I was such a viewer. Like for example, I had wanted a boyfriend my entire life from when I was a child to when I was 18. And I would just look through my yearbook and think about it. I wouldn't talk to the people around me. 

So I think a lot of my short films come from a more quiet protagonist viewing the world outside of her, because that's just how I was growing up. I think it's a tool I use in storytelling to slowly reveal layers within a story. I'd rather have things shown than told, so having a more observant, quieter protagonist helps me present that. 

Sometimes it feels like the camera is a protagonist within itself. Like in "Three Fish," you're following the mom as if you're her future child. Do you want to talk about your process with that one? It was really one of my favorites.

This was actually just made as an exercise within my directing class where we had to do a one-take. And I was visually very inspired by the way Asian supermarkets work. I love the fish tanks, I love the colors within the aisles. So that's just something that I wanted to highlight. 

And looking at the story, I always think, the simpler the story, the better in a way. What I'm going to explain in my keynote presentation later is that I feel like our stories are not very unique, it's our perspectives. And so that's why I was kind of trying to show within "Three Fish” following her. She doesn't say a lot within the film, but we understand what's going through her mind through her actions, through the small details. And it's a simple story to me, about resilience and trying to choose what you want. I'm also very inspired by stories about immigrants but that's not the only thing I want to write about. 

And you've done a lot of films that aren't necessarily about immigrants. Like ["Love & Goodwill"], that's another one that's very much about perspective. I love how you frame objects as well, that's so interesting. What's going on in your mind when you're choosing to focus in on objects in your storytelling?

I think for me it's about finding the emotional connection through the objects. If we're going to stay on an object, what's the reasoning for that. Oh, does it remind you of your childhood, does it remind you of someone? If we're going to focus on something I feel like there always has to be a motivation for it. That's something I learned throughout directing - everything has to have a motivation.

Even in "Picture Us" you've got the duality of an object that's fairly plain and almost disappointing. And the family dynamic that comes with it. Like you said, watching and kind of imagining what could be in a sense. 

I really try to let viewers figure out the story. A lot of short films and a lot of college film students, their mistake is that they over explain and they don't trust the viewers to understand the story. But viewers are smart, at least the kind of viewers you want to be watching your story. 

(laughs)

So I think you can just tell the story in a poetic way, in a simple way, and people will understand it.

To circle back on the idea of parenting, there's this idea of what we want to believe about our parents as children. To explain their motives. How have you moved with that topic? You've done that with "Picture Us" and "Oink."

I think it wasn't really until adulthood that I was more so psychoanalyzing my parents. I think because I moved away from them. And having that distance again. My family, we love each other by being around each other, whether that's like, eating together, cooking together, just like, watching TV in the same room. That's how I know that I'm loved by them.

But being across the country I wasn't able to do that. And I was feeling like something was missing. And it really made me evaluate my relationship with my parents and realize like, oh, this kind of does hurt me, because I don't feel very emotionally connected with them, and I didn't realize that. And I'm like, oh, they don't really know, they don't have much interest in my life, or know the details of my life. I called them every single day and it ends up being a one minute call of like, "How are you?". Like a check up, but not really the details of who I am. So that's something that I really struggled with. Feeling like my parents view me as their daughter but they don't know me as a person. But to the same respect I was like, I have to understand that they are also just people. And that I could be upset that I don't have this emotional connection with them as deep as I would like it to be. But I can't blame them because they didn't either with their parents. Their parents didn't show them love in an emotional, Western way either. So I can't upset with them for that.

It's a back and forth. I will always love my parents, and I can always break down their parenting. But they were parents for the very first time. Looking back at how I turned out, there are things I would like to be different, but I turned out okay. (Laughs)

I think it's harder to have immigrant parents because now we have to deal with the dual narrative of like, "What does it mean to be an American parent? What does it mean to be an Asian parent? How are they different? What do we expect as kids?" 

I have a cat, and once I adopted him, he taught me so much about parenting in an odd way. I want a lap kitty, but instead I got this wild dude that gets grumpy. I learned that I can't force him to be a lap kitty. I just have to accept him for who he is. I think that's also a process that my parents have been learning, as like accepting me for who I am.

Yeah, because on the parents' side, there's definitely a culture shock where "We expected this kind of kid, but because she's growing up [in the US], it's totally different." My parents very much felt like that, so I understand. 

I hear you! I also pole dance, and I was so nervous about telling my parents that I'm a pole dancer. I go by Milky in the filmmaking world, but my name is Kelly Tran. So to say, "Oh yeah, I pole dance now. And I go by the name Milky." I was worried my parents would put those ideas together and think I was doing sex work. Not that there's anything wrong with sex work, but

you know, you're like, that's not what's actually happening, don't freak out yet.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

I really like how you explore that relationship. I think immigrant parents are some of the most maligned people in today's filmmaking industry. You know, there's this twin thing of in some ways, are they not great at parenting? Yeah. But in some ways, we also wanted to expect [a more western style of parenting that we see in media]. So it's always interesting to see that push and pull. Because it's not like we don't love our parents. 

I feel like in a lot of ways I didn't allow myself to be upset about the parenting because I had known how much my family had given up for me to have a successful life. And they are pretty progressive as Asian parents. We do say "I love you" to each other and they let me pursue the arts. 

I felt so much guilt about the sacrifices my parents had. But again, people are people. Things can be good and bad. It's not just black and white. 

I really like the last shot in "Oink." That made me laugh so much. It's like, rebellion, in a sense. Do you want to talk about how you came to that ending?

I was trying to replicate the beginning of the film where she is step by step copying her mother. And then, when it comes to something that much bigger, like, something with a nosejob, it just falls into that pattern. If you want to be just like your mom, that encompasses even the negative parts of disliking the way that you look. 

I really liked it because it was subversive in a childlike way. As a kid, you're not going to put all of these ideas into words.

I wanted a moment that was a little childish, but poignant in the way that there's a deeper meaning that she does not see yet. In that there is this insecurity that her mom has about herself will be something that she will carry with her, too, being that she has the same nose as her mom.

I love your playful interpretation of it. Because when you said you laughed, I was like, was it the same short film? But I liked that you interpreted it as something more childlike, something more playful.

More generally, what kind of films do you want to create next? I know you have the Jubilee Youtube stuff, but any other personal projects that you want to do?

I feel like having a full time creative job at Jubilee does make it difficult for me to figure out my personal narrative projects. That's something that I've been struggling with a lot. So right now I'm just trying to find the balance within my life of what it is actually like to live as an artist. And taking away the pressure of having to constantly create and say something new. I think as an artist I want to create art whenever I feel the need to make art, or feel like I want to express something and don't know how to do it. Film is the perfect medium for it.

But I do have a short script that I have had on my slate for about a year. It's a story, it's called "Beautiful Girl." It's sort of autobiographical about my relationship with my late grandmother who had dementia at the time. It's a story about a young, Vietnamese-American woman trying to take care of her grandmother who has dementia. And this grandmother doesn't know how to take care of herself in a basic way, so the granddaughter does that. And a subplot throughout the story is that the granddaughter wants to have a more normal life, and just wants to go on a date with her boyfriend. IN the story, the boyfriend breaks up with the granddaughter, and at the end of the short film, the grandmother comforts her. Even though this grandmother doesn't know how to take care of herself, she will never forget how to take care of her granddaughter. And know how to be a grandmother. 

That moment was pulled from my real life. My boyfriend at the time broke up with me, and my grandmother that had dementia invited me into her room to have cake. And we just talked about boy problems. I'm like, "This is the most clear she has been in like weeks." It was just a surprising moment for me.

To me, I feel like there is magic in Asian grandmothers. And that love, no matter where they might be mentally, will always exist. 

What kind of questions do you look to ask or answer in your writing and/or directing?

My goal through my storytelling is to show that the ordinary moments are the moments that make up our life. And to showcase them in a way where you have a new perspective on them. Whether you look at life and you think, life is so bittersweet, or you look at this very small moment in life and you think, life is beautiful.

The way I tell my stories tends to be more slice-of-life where you're just following a character doing a daily thing. I'm not the director where you create this big, crazy plot. I'm more so focused on a character's journey where they discover themselves and have hopefully a profound awakening that they can cherish just for themselves. 

You know, whenever you're exploring life and you learn this little life lesson out of the blue. That's what I hope my stories can do.