Anthropoideus corticis flavi
Class: Mammalia
Order: Primates
Family: Hominidae
Genus: Homo
Species: Homo sapiens
Native Range: Guangdong Province, Qing Empire, Xianfeng Reign (1850-1861)
First recorded presence in North America: California, United States, ca. 1850
Habitat: Unfinished Railroads, Untapped Mines, Urban Tenants, Sparse Populations in Large Homes and Mansions
Description: Commonly observed performing physically demanding labor. Speech patterns are predominantly tonal, but in limited cases, may also vocalize certain English phrases from occupational contact.
Anthropoideus corticis flavi exclusus
Class: Mammalia
Order: Primates
Family: Hominidae
Genus: Homo
Species: Homo sapiens
Native Range: Guangdong Province, Qing Empire, Guangxu Reign (1875-1908)
Last recorded presence in North America: California, United States, ca. 1882
Habitat: No stable habitat has been recorded since 1882
Description: The population observed to decline following counteractive measures enacted against the encroachment of native populations.
Anthropoideus corticis flavi exclusus muriformis
Class: Mammalia
Order: Rodentia
Family: Muridae
Genus: Homo
Species: Homo sapiens
Native Range: Imperial Japan
First recorded presence in North America: 1941
Habitat: No fixed habitat; presence largely observed across domestic spaces
Description: Commonly observed in groups around urban and suburban infrastructure. Speech patterns are predominantly in English, but other languages are occasionally recorded, particularly in the presence of civilian populations.
Anthropoideus corticis flavi exclusus muriformis reformatum
Class: Mammalia
Order: Primates
Family: Hominidae
Genus: Homo
Species: Homo sapiens
Native Range: Asia
First recorded presence in North America: 1965
Habitat: Largely confined within urban enclaves
Description: Differs from preceding subspecies in technical competence. Characterized by high levels of educational attainment and observed in reputable professional sectors. Typically exhibits discipline and adherence to social and institutional expectations. Speech patterns are predominantly English. Multilingual ability is often present, but varies from rudimentary to advanced.
Anthropoideus corticis flavi exclusus vermiformis reformatum imperfectus
Class: Mammalia
Order: Primates
Family: Hominidae
Genus: Homo
Species: Homo sapiens
Native Range: The East
First recorded presence in North America: 1960s
Habitat: The West
Description: Differs from the preceding subspecies. Characterized by enhanced cognitive capacity. Typically exhibits leeching behavior. Speech patterns are predominantly glass. Other languages are occasionally spilled.
Anthropoideus corticis flavi exclusus vermiformis reformatum imperfectus crepans
Class: Mammalia
Order: Primates
Family: Hominidae
Genus: Homo
Species: Homo sapiens
Native Range: East
First recorded presence in North America: Mid-20th century
Habitat: West
Description:
我的父母是东北人，也从小吃了很多苦。妈妈说每天早上上学得骑两三小时自行车。每次到校园，她说她的手已经冻得快结冰了，但一直到高中的时候，她考试都排前五名。那时候家庭环境不太好，有的时候得跟着姥姥照顾她两个弟弟，有的时候没有钱吃肉。我记得最深的故事是有一天我姥爷给妈妈一点儿钱，让她去超市买一罐酱油，但走路的时候，她把钱弄丢了。回家的时候姥姥姥爷发现她没有买那瓶酱油就开始打她，把她打哭了。我没问过我的父亲他的故事。有的时候会听他说他被他的父母打过。有的时候我的爷爷会跟我爸爸讲他出生以前，因为周围的人把他当成地主，他被熟悉的人批斗了，逼着他戴高帽子，脖子上挂一个大牌子。现在，爷爷会说他现在打你都没什么力气，跟以前比太轻松了。
所以我听完这些故事我就觉得我自己多幸运，钱也有，饭也有，学习机会到处都有，我生活条件这么好我有什么能抱怨呢？但是我每天也感觉过得很痛苦，可能是父母的压力，可能是别人对我的看法，可能是很多东西合在一起，可能是我心理作用，可能是。。。
I differ from other candidates in many personal qualities. For example, a lot of people around me struggled to get perfect grades in school, but for me, I never really had difficulty attaining academic perfection. As a result, I am able to attain high honors in many of my extracurricular pursuits. I have national awards across multiple different technical and artistic fields, as well as a major published research paper on the chronic biomechanical effects that certain odorless gases have on the human body. I am also very skilled at working with people, and especially given the collectivist values of this institution, I think I will be a good fit both technically and interpersonally.
Finally, I’m a good candidate for this because I know who I am. I speak, read, and write both English and Chinese at a native level. I also believe that this is the only place that I can see myself succeeding in, especially given aspects of my personal background. Additionally…
Anthropoideus corticis flavi exclusus vermiformis reformatum imperfectus crepans fractum
Class: Mammalia
Order: Primates
Family: Hominidae
Genus: Homo
Species: Homo sapiens
Native Range: Foreign Land
First recorded presence in North America: 20th-century
Habitat: USA
Description:
为什么我的神经有问题老跟父母吵架，因为我复习了这么长时间都没有考好，所以我有一天就受不了了。然后爸爸对我大声喊，喊到我哭的时候我就回到我的卧室，但门没有关好，所以关的时候有很大的声音，所以父母都听到了，马上就跑过来了。你是不是有病了，他们会说。你知道你的妈妈的心脏受不了这么大的声音。你是不是不在乎你的父母的身体，因为有的时候我们真觉得你想让我早死。我们不在就没有人管你，这是不是你想要的啊？我养了这么大的白眼狼，付出了这么大的努力，让你成功，让你长得好好的，但你看你对我们这么样。我们以前还能希望我一百岁你还能照护我们，但要是你每天每天都气我们，我们早晚就会气死了。不是，我回答，我什么时候说我想让你们死？你没有说，但你的行为都让我们特别伤心，让我们觉得你的心根本都没有爱。有的时候我会看我自己在镜子里，然后我就觉得我特别丑。我不知道为什么，但我会用我的手指来摸我的脸。为什么我没有双眼皮，为什么我的眼睛长得这么黑，为什么我没有蓝眼睛，因为我的妈妈说过她最想要的东西是她的孩子能有海蓝的眼睛。为什么我没有瓜子脸，为什么我看起来老发呆，为什么我的牙齿不像他们那么白，不对。。。
I will admit that everything that I have claimed to have accomplished didn’t go as smoothly as I said before. But you do see that the results are all verified achievements and publications, so these are all still true recognitions. You know, the thing with Asian parents, they’re all really strict, and they’ll tell me to modify certain things to look more professional. But I think still, what really matters is what’s on the page. The grades, test scores, and honors are all there. I think what matters more is not the story itself, but the results that come out of the story. All the skills I’ve developed were born not of external pressure, but because of my own self-cultivated will and determination. And honestly, a story of struggle makes for a better narrative in the end, so let me modify my story: I am diligent with tasks, and I am good with people, but those skills were born out of hard work. I am a high achiever, but I struggled a lot along the way. I am…
Anthropoideus corticis flavi exclusus vermiformis reformatum imperfectus crepans fractum conquassatus
Class: Mammalia
Order: Primates
Family: Hominidae
Genus: —
Species: —
Native Range: There
First recorded presence in North America: A Past
Habitat: Here
Description:
你的笔画写错了。 中国的国不应该把口写的像一个正方形，那会让你写的字写畸形了。 再写一次。不对不对，先输后撇， 老师没教你吗？上课听讲了吗？ 我跟你说我故意花了这么多钱让你提高你的中文水平，但为什么上了三年课你还在初级班呢？ 你想让我坐在后面跟你一起听吗？嗯好的，明白了，每天就让她写一篇汉字？好的。你听到老师说的了？她很关心你的。不对。你坚决不能这样写。这不是中文了。要你继续这样写，你永远就是一个美国孩子。你想跟你的朋友一样的水平吗？看一看，她跟她妈妈这么说话，口音这么重，没学会这么不卷舌头，他的第三音永远就说不好。 吓人。好吓人。我才不想让我的娃过的这么痛苦。要你长了一个中国脸然后你不会说中文，你这么活着？好，下节课，要你考不出初级班，你就不用上课了。妈妈没有这么多钱让你随便乱学。 这么说呢，在学中文的方面，你肯定跟不上国内的孩子。看看你的嘴形，没有中国人长得像这样。“去”再说一遍，去，去，去，就这一个字改不了，从小我就没教育好，是不是？ 是不是？是。。。
If I could meet you tomorrow, I would share a story. Maybe the chip in my incisors. That missing gap holds a lot. I would tell you all about it. But no, wouldn’t I be too nervous? I’ll perform for you like always. But what better way can we do it? Why don’t we mix our pasts? Let’s share a part of ourselves until we understand. I’m actually super curious about you. But then again, who are you? I can’t actually talk to the decision makers, can I? Would it help if I changed my last name? My mother named me this just so I could talk to you more easily. The order of the first word and the second word does a lot of work. You know, I literally prepared my entire life for this. Why can’t you just be satisfied? Am I too much like the others? Well, that’s not a bad thing; I just need to do better than them. And if I can’t, well, I don’t know. I still know that I myself worked really hard. You just see it in numbers. You just see it in, probably a last name, I don’t really know what you see it in, but I’m sure it is probably less…
Anthropoideus corticis flavi exclusus vermiformis reformatum imperfectus crepans fractum conquassatus dissolutus
Class: Mammalia
Order: —
Family: —
Genus: —
Species: —
Native Range: Somewhere
First recorded presence in North America: Sometime
Habitat: where
Description: 春：红烧肉上下坐小笼包包子早茶随便绿茶都行他妈的番茄老干妈椅子，快吃吧，送你一包，好好好好不用了没关系我知道，很好很好，哎呀是什么？松鼠鱼你也会说中文哇我的中文说的不好。夏，打钢琴，放上衣服，哭眼泪，吃东西，按摸后背，画作业，秋，能叫我不好的中文字吗？大傻瓜去滚你脑子有病了进水了傻逼操你妈我操，东，不是冬，中文学校上课，一二三四五六七八九十然后是什么了？东洗男杯？够了。明明几点上的雪？起点！早上或者晚上？晚上！再来一遍！毛泽东是谁，好人吗？谁是秦始皇？你从哪里来的？你是什么名字？真的吗？啊？ 科学数学，历史读书，老师上下左右我分不出来左右，看的一样。中国新年，端午节，清明节，七夕节，每年穿红色的衣服！年年有余，万事如意，新年快乐，包饺子，吃元宵，妈妈爸爸姥姥姥爷爷爷奶奶，看一看，我现在变成了什么样的人！满意吗？我。。。
I will be honest here: I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want from me, so I will speak to you in terms of what I think you would want. So let’s make a story workshopped by you, without you. There are oceans, right? And then I’ll imagine my parents on a boat, thrown around by the waves. There’s probably oppression over there in one way or another. Probably San Francisco, or somewhere in California, but whatever, I think at least if there’s something hurt somewhere, you would like it. There are rivers somewhere. My grandmother cuts herself while chopping fruit, so the blood becomes rivers. I think I’ll go with this line, it sounds interesting and also metaphorical. Wait, actually, what if she plays a game of Mahjong with three other Chinese women and talks about her children? Wait, actually, what if I just say I watched her die? Have myself stand next to her bed and watch her body, so four years later, I can call it character building? Maybe…
Description: An apple peeler. An apple. Fingers wrapped around. Then hands. Held up by arms. A torso connects the arms. The rest is attached. Sleeves rolled up, every joint felt frayed. I try to remember the touch of their fingers. Cold from the faucet. Tremoring. The health of their nails. When they moved my hands, I saw myself peel rubies. The hands try again and scrape off gravel instead. The most I ever made was silver. The dust made her cough up phlegm. I hover over the drain. A five-dollar peeler. A bag of stickered red apples. I take one out and try to carve. The blade misses. Lands on the wrist. The blade misses. Lands on the cheek. The blade misses. I’m weaving ribbons out of the skin. The blade misses. The ribbons touch the ground and whirl around me, spreading like scattered hair. The blade misses. The last thread connected in the fingertips. The blade misses. Lands on the thigh. The blade misses. Lands on the veins. The blade misses. A stream of dark liquid leaves the arms. The blade misses. The ribbon continues into fat and muscle. The blade misses. Lands on an artery. The blade misses. Rubies spill out of the stomach. So does everything else. The blade misses. The ribbon turns sapphire, carving a white sculpture. The blade misses. There’s a cage inside the sculpture. A crane inside the chest. It had no wings. It tries to flap. The blade misses. The white cage falls into a field of ribbons. The blade misses. An apple.